By Wesley Gallagher

While recovery is ultimately an individual journey, having the support of family can make a huge difference in your success. Not everyone has family to support them, and not everyone’s family is supportive. But if you have family willing to walk with you, it’s important to know how your addiction affects them, as well as how they can help you during treatment and recovery.

Family Dynamics in Addiction Recovery

Family is complicated, we all know that. But when addiction is involved, things can get really complicated. Addiction creates an unbalanced ecosystem where family members adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms or family roles as they try to maintain some type of equilibrium. This often leads to blurring of boundaries and codependency.

So if you are struggling with addiction and decide to get treatment, your family members may not be quite as excited as you might expect. They have settled into their role, and you changing your role threatens to upset the equilibrium they’ve worked so hard to create. This makes the family role in addiction recovery a complex issue, and one that must be addressed.

Family Involvement in Addiction Treatment

While family members can be a great source of support during treatment, they may need to go through their own version of recovery before they can be there for you in yours. Family therapy in addiction treatment can help everyone in the family navigate the complicated and changing dynamics of relationships in recovery.

Your family can also be your biggest champions in recovery, offering support, encouragement, accountability, and hope. Examples of family involvement in addiction treatment include:

• Emotional support and help with goal setting
• Financial support during and after addiction treatment
• A stable home environment
• Accountability for coping with addiction and maintaining sobriety
• Unconditional love for the unavoidable mistakes you will make along the way

How to Encourage a Family Member to Get Treatment

If you have a family member struggling with addiction, it can be difficult to know when and how to encourage them to seek help. Before you talk with your loved one, be sure you know the signs of substance abuse, and do as much research as you can on addiction and recovery. Consider talking to a mental healthcare professional, or even involve them in the process when you’re ready to have your talk. Here are some tips that may help when you’re ready to have the conversation:

• Know in advance what you’re going to say
• Try to remain calm
• Make sure your loved one is in the right state of mind (i.e., not intoxicated)
• Approach the conversation with empathy and understanding
• Use non-stigmatizing words
• Express your concerns for their well-being
• Offer your support in finding professional help
• Provide information about treatment options and resources
• Offer to accompany them to appointments if they feel overwhelmed
• Be sure to tell them how much you love them and want what is best for them

What You Can Do to Support Your Family Member During Treatment

If your family member has chosen to begin the journey of recovery, you may wonder whether you can do anything to help once they are in treatment. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) offers some practical guidance for supporting a loved one during recovery:

• Express Your Support – Intentionally communicate with your loved one that you’re there to support them along the way. If you express encouragement and love, you’ll create an environment for healthy conversation and openness.
• Be Transparent – If you have a family history of alcohol or drug use, be willing to share this with your loved one. This helps them feel that they’re not alone in their struggles.
• Show Empathy and Understanding – Coping with recovery can be hard. Be patient with your loved one as the process can take some time. Show compassion and understanding if setbacks or challenges occur.
• Care for Yourself – Your loved one’s recovery can certainly be a difficult experience for them, but it can be stressful and emotionally draining on you as well. Pursuing self-care and even family counseling can help you stay healthy as you navigate everything together.

As for what not to do? Don’t judge or criticize their process of recovery, or pressure them to share anything before they are ready. It’s also important not to enable them if they are headed toward relapse; setting and holding to boundaries is beneficial for both of you.

How to Stay Encouraged

Recovery is a lifelong journey, and not a linear one. Prepare yourself for setbacks, even relapse, and know what to do when your loved one stumbles. Stay patient, resilient, and hopeful, and celebrate any progress, no matter how small. And make sure you have a support system for yourself, too. Whether other family members, friends, or your own therapist, be sure you have people to lean on when supporting your family member gets tough.

The Meadows Cares About Families

At The Meadows, we know just how integral family is to the process of recovery, which is why we involve family members and offer family therapy in addiction treatment as part of Family Week. This weeklong program is designed to give our patients and their loved ones a safe space to engage in open and honest communication while exploring family relational issues. It’s a time of learning and forgiveness that not only provides healing for everyone involved, but it also paves the way for a smooth transition out of treatment and back into daily life.

If you or your loved one is struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to our admissions team to hear more about our program. We want to help you and your family embark on a journey to lifelong healing.