By Marcel Schwantes
It’s easy to get bogged down by the negative instead of the positive in any situation. Many people strive for happiness in their careers, relationships, and personal goals, but most people don’t choose to be happy in their everyday lives. A common misconception is that the more productive you are, the happier you will be. In reality, happiness fuels productivity and success.
Much has been written about the burgeoning happiness movement. While combing through my research and notes on who are the happiest people and what they do, it struck me how intentional they are about choosing the right mindset to become happier and more optimistic.
While countless books have been written on happiness, I’m narrowing this article down to a working template for living life to the fullest. Here are seven daily habits and healthy practices of the happiest people.
Many people strive for happiness in their careers, relationships, and personal goals, but most people don’t choose to be happy in their everyday lives.
1. They Choose to Have Healthy Relationships
I’ve earned to be picky over the years about whom I let into my inner circle of friends. Why? Because I believe close relationships are the key to sustaining happiness.
One profound longitudinal study proves this. For 80 years, researchers followed 268 men who entered Harvard in the late 1930s through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and old age.
Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the current director of the study, told the Harvard Gazette: “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships have a powerful influence on our health. Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”
For participants, half of whom are still alive as of this writing, the only thing that mattered was their relationships with other people.
2. They Have a Mindset of Giving
The late Jim Rohn said, “Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have.”
In the book The Go-Giver, the main character, Joe, learns that changing his focus from getting to giving–putting others’ interests first and consistently adding value to their lives–ultimately leads to unexpected returns.
Now science confirms that giving makes us happy, is good for our health, and evokes gratitude. One Harvard Business School report even concluded that the emotional rewards are the greatest when our generosity is connected to others, like contributing to a cancer-stricken friend’s GoFundMe Campaign.
Before you restrict your giving to financial charity to something or someone, consider the positive impact of giving your time, mentoring others, supporting a cause, fighting injustice, and having a pay-it-forward mentality.
3. They Make Decisions Rooted in Integrity
Living, working, and leading in integrity means we don’t question ourselves. When we listen to our hearts and do the right thing, life becomes simple, and we live in peace. Our actions are now open for everyone to see, and we don’t have to worry about hiding anything.
Billionaire Warren Buffett, chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, does not mince words regarding the importance of integrity. In choosing the people you hire, he said:
Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. If you don’t have the first, the other two will kill you. You think about it; it’s true. If you hire somebody without integrity, you want them to be dumb and lazy.
4. They Practice Mindfulness
The happiest people make the daily choice of surrendering their thoughts and feelings to the moment. Mindfulness helps you gain control of your emotional reactions, helping you become more conscious of your thoughts and building greater self-awareness.
Practicing mindfulness changes your relationship to your thoughts, viewing them as an outside observer. Being mindful and focusing your awareness on the here and now, by calmly acknowledging and accepting your thoughts and feelings thoughts, you attain great peace and free yourself from worry.
The great thing about mindfulness is that it blocks distractions that try to derail you from your dreams and goals.
5. They Set Good Emotional Boundaries
Negativity is rampant. We can’t scroll Facebook updates before being hammered by someone’s political rant or hatred.
Happy people remain positive because they control what they let in — whether on social media or in people interactions.
Take the stand of a happy person: Protect yourself by limiting exposure to negative things and people; seek out friendships with people who will lift you, and read stories about the good things happening worldwide.
6. They Exercise Patience
Patience is a virtue I wish more people practiced. It helps you relax and rethink your decisions.
A 2012 study found that patient people made more progress toward their goals and were more satisfied when they achieved them — especially if those goals were challenging — compared with less patient people.
Additional research found that patient people also tend to experience less depression and negative emotions and can cope better with stressful situations. Additionally, they feel more gratitude, more connection to others, and experience a greater sense of abundance.
Finally, patience helps you see other people’s innocence during those frustrating moments when you’d like a fist to meet the wall.
7. They Upgrade Their Happiness to Joy
While we are highlighting the habits of the happiest people, you may be surprised to find a big difference between happiness and joy. Joy is more serene, stable, and profound. In comparison, happiness can be fleeting, emotional, and temporary (like watching a movie you’ve been dying to see).
Being in a state of joy comes down to choice, and making that choice has long-term psychological benefits. Happiness often comes from approaching each day with optimism and consciously rewiring our brains to overcome negative behaviors.
Brain research by Wataru Sato of Kyoto University says that when you choose positive behaviors (i.e., gratitude, compassion, forgiveness, or kindness), you hold the key to rewiring a region of the brain called the precuneus.
By rewiring your brain with new daily habits that lead to joy, you’ll be able to control your sense of well-being and purpose. Suppose you’re caught in a vicious circle of nasty emotions like doubt, fear, and uncertainty; your best action is to replace those emotions by consciously and intentionally choosing positive behaviors.
Studies show that challenging your negative and irrational thoughts reduces depressive symptoms and enables you to overcome negative thought patterns to live happier lives.
Don’t try to stop negative thoughts when they come because the more you tell yourself to stop thinking about something, the more you’ll end up thinking about it. Instead, acknowledging and owning these thoughts will help you deal with them more directly.
Use the tools of meditation, prayer, journaling, and mindfulness to aid you in the process. After a few weeks, check in with close friends and family and ask if they have noticed a difference in you. You’ll be surprised by what they will tell you when you practice happiness.
By rewiring your brain with new daily habits that lead to joy, you’ll be able to control your sense of well-being and purpose.
Practicing Healthy Habits for Happiness
A healthy lifestyle involves more than just caring for your physical being. Your mental health, relationships, and overall happiness also help promote a high quality of life. Happiness is not an object you acquire; it’s a practice and a process. Incorporating small happiness practices into your everyday life through your thoughts, actions, and choices can set the course for a better life. When you create good daily habits, you take a huge step forward in achieving happiness and improving your quality of life.
Originally posted on https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/7-unmistakable-signs-of-happiest-people-that-are-hard-to-find.html